"Here's my problem with email," Jane*, a lawyer friend of mine told me recently, "I open Outlook expecting to quickly check my email, but then I read an email with a link in it, I follow the link, and then I'm lost on the internet for hours." "My … [Read more...]
The Challenge: Do One Emotionally Difficult Thing Every Day
May 4, 2012 By Leave a Comment
The email was compelling--a personal note from Jared*, a man I like and respect. He had taken over from me as president of the board of an organization and was asking me to attend their annual dinner and give money as a sponsor. When I was on the … [Read more...]
How to Respond to Emotional Outbursts
April 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment
"Please, Daddy, please? Can we open our presents from you now?" It was the third night of Hanukkah and my wife Eleanor, our three young children, and I had just come home from a holiday party. "Didn't you guys get enough presents at the party?" … [Read more...]
How to Attend a Conference as Yourself
March 26, 2012 By 10 Comments
I often feel awkward when I go to a conference. Reluctant to sidle up to a stranger and introduce myself, I roam, like I did at college parties, self-conscious, seltzer water in hand, not fitting in. In the midst of a sea of people chatting away … [Read more...]
Diversity Training Doesn’t Work
March 12, 2012 By 6 Comments
"We've got another lawsuit," my friend and client Lana* told me over the phone. "Really?" I was honestly surprised. "What about all that diversity training everyone went through?" "Well, apparently we need to do it again." Lana was the head … [Read more...]
The Problem with High Expectations
February 23, 2012 By 10 Comments
At 5 am I was lying in bed, awake, thinking. Actually, thinking is too generous a word for what I was doing. I was perseverating. I was about to buy a new bicycle, and I couldn't decide on the color. I tried to visualize the bike and imagine how I … [Read more...]
Do People Really Want You to Be Honest?
January 10, 2012 By 4 Comments
My wife Eleanor and I were walking up a mountain road, enjoying a rare moment of being alone together. As we rounded a bend, we saw a friend, Nancy,* not too far ahead. When we caught up with her she suggested we walk together. I've known Nancy … [Read more...]
How to Get a Raise When Budgets Are Tight
December 16, 2011 By 1 Comment
My friend Dave* mentioned to me that he just received the results from a medical exam and was surprised and disappointed by his numbers. His cholesterol was high. Especially, he told me, given how he eats. "Dave," I said, "you can't be serious. … [Read more...]
Restore Yourself to Your Factory Default Settings
November 22, 2011 By 6 Comments
My wireless connection to the internet had suddenly stopped working. At first I was frustrated — I had been in the middle of browsing some books on Amazon. But I quickly took it as a blessing. I had an article to write and the Amazon browsing was a … [Read more...]
How to Avoid Becoming a Person You Hate
November 15, 2011 By 8 Comments
I was so angry my whole body was shaking. I stared at Günther* with hate, my left hand in a fist and my right hand gripping a tennis racket as a weapon. I was ready to kill him. Was this really me? I had returned to Ann Bradney's extraordinary … [Read more...]
